Change . . .

Change is an interesting thing.  It is inevitable for us humans and rarely does anybody or anything not change. This has been something I've been really thinking about. I have always found stories about people changing for the better interesting. I love hearing them, but even more so I enjoy seeing them happen to people I love and care about. Recently, I've had the opportunity to really see some amazing changes in a few people that I know.
The first one is a young man that I have known since I was a Freshman. He has always had a hard time with the Gospel. It was always a bit frustrating trying to help him because I could only do so much and the rest was really up to him. Finally, I believe things really started to change for him during Heritage Tours. I was able to go on the same trip as him. We weren't in the same district, but I was still able to see a large change in him within those three weeks. It was amazing! To see him change into someone who was more receptive to the spirit was something wonderful. It didn't stop there, however, he has continued to improve. He is currently serving his mission in Japan. I get emails from him, and I just have to say he has change so much within the few months he's been out. He's become even more hardworking, even closer to the spirit, and so many other things. It has been one of my favorite things to watch him change and improve himself.
The other experience that I have recently been able to see is a bit of a longer process. It is one that a lot of people never really believed nor expect to happen as quickly as it has, me included. See I met this guy when we were seniors. I have to admit when I first met him I was like, "Oh, he's cute, nice, and funny". I got to know him even more as the year progressed and even though he continued to be cute, funny, kind, and sometimes spiritual, he began to drive me nuts. He became annoying and let's just say half the people I knew really had a hard time being around him because of a few things. We would tease him and, yes, even talked behind his back. Something that wasn't good or kind to do. I was able to have a few interesting experiences with this guy despite these things. Every once in awhile I was able to see someone else behind everything else, and I don't think a lot of people had the opportunity see that but then it would disappear when he became the boy that he was. I remember one of my friends making a comment to me saying, "That kid is going to need two missions to straighten him out." I laughed and kind of agreed with her; he was going to need a mission that would help him to really become the person that was deep down inside him. I remember going to his mission call opening, I was kind of out of place because most of the people who were still left in the AF area and were good friends with him were people I didn't really know. So, yes, it was awkward for me, especially since him and I weren't on the greatest terms. I don't what happened but let's just say he wasn't the happiest with me because of who knows what (I still don't know to this day why he was mad at me). He got called to Chili, but because of some complications, health I believe, he ended up going to Texas. And can I just say it's been life changing for him. The last time I talked to him before his mission he was still trying to forgive me, so I told myself, "Marissa, you can't email him until you get your mission call or you get married, whichever one comes first." Well, December rolled around, about a month after he left, and I was deciding if I should go on a mission or not. In the end, as many of you know, I choose not to go. However, this didn't end up stopping me. It was a few days after my last final when I felt prompted to email him. I thought, "Uhhh, no, not gonna happen. He's still mad at me, and I don't want to distract him, and I'm probably the last person he wants to hear from." That didn't stop me, see when I'm really suppose to do something the spirit won't let it rest until I do it. Thus, I broke down and emailed him. I wished him a Merry Christmas and asked him how the MTC was treating him and so on and so forth. His return email thanked me for my email and answered my questions. Nothing really special, I guess you could say. I tried emailing him back. The next email was polite but there was the cold feeling from it, as if he was still angry with me. I decided to lay off. So for the next few months I got his family emails and began to watch him grow and change and, yes, every once in a blue moon he would sent me a personal email. Normally it was when he had no one else to email. Sometimes the emails were as if nothing had ever happened and we were still friend, other times not so much. Then a few weeks ago I received an email from him. I was extremely surprised to receive it. The email asked me a few questions and such. A normal email I'd get from any other missionary. I replied back the next week and to my surprise he emailed straight back, and we were able to have a great conversation during his hour of email time on his P-day. I was really surprised at several things. The one thing, however, that I was really surprised at was when he said he'd been thinking about going to BYUI after his mission. My mouth dropped to the floor. This was the guy that told me he would never go there because of the cold, his dad even told me that, yet, here he was toying with the idea of going up there. I didn't ask him that day, but rather the next week, why he was even thinking about BYUI, this was his reply to me, "When you serve a mission you are set apart and through the authority of the priesthood you are given a blessing. My stake president gave me a really good blessing. Because of it and much prayer and fasting I have seeked in every action to open my heart to the whisperings of the Spirit. To be changed by the constant companionship of a God. My will is inferior to His will. My ways are lower than His ways. I have never spent long thought on what I'm going to do after the mission, but in specific occasions for short times I've wondered what it is that God wants for me. I will not have the same success and happiness in life if I follow what I want in contrast to what he wants. So as I have pondered, the Spirit has helped me figure out that if I'm in Utah for the first bit of my college, I will not be given the same opportunities and happiness that I could receive. Of course I'm not going to really seek an answer until my last six weeks in my mission, but know that having the Holy Ghost constantly in your heart pushing and impressing you into different thought patterns, your will changes into the desires that God has for you." I was stunned by his response; the guy I knew before would not have said something that profound. I realized then that he truly was changing and for the better, and I felt as if he had completely forgiven me. It was all because he was willing to change, and he had opened his heart to the spirit.
He has been out on his mission for about eight months and yet he has made a 180 and continues to change. It really has taught me how much the spirit can help us to become who we truly are, if we open our hearts to him and are willing to be molded into the person we are to become. It also taught me never to underestimate anyone. Many of us didn't believe that he could become the person he has as quickly as it has happened. It also has taught me to always encourage people and try to see them as God really does, not to talk behind their backs or to put them down.
The spirit can work miracles among us, but we have to be willing to change, we must be willing to be humbled, and we much be willing to work to change, and we must have patience. No one changes over night. It's a process and it can be a very long and hard road, but when we or someone else comes out of it stronger and a better person, all that grief and pain is worth it and it teaches us that anyone can really change by the help the spirit and many other things. So remember to have patience with those in hard times, help them where ever you can, encourage them, pray and fast for them, and love them. Never give up on them.        

My New Favorite Sayings

Within the past month I have come across two sayings that I have fallen in love with the moment I have read them. Both have come in times where I needed to hear them the most.
The saying that I came across most recently is from an online class that I am doing. Every week my teacher posts an inspirational video. Sometimes they are words from the prophet or apostles, other times they are Mormon Messages or just simple inspirational videos. I rarely watch them because I just want to get my work done and over with; however, this particular time I decided to watch the video. The video was about being thankful, in the end it had the words, "Giving thanks isn't a holiday; it's how happy people live." This really hit me.
I will fully admit that this past month I have a hard time having a positive out look on life. I'm working two jobs, with another small one on the side, to try to earn money for school. It becomes a little daunting when you feel as if you may not have enough money in the end. Then there is my online class (which requires several hours a week) and enjoying the rest of my summer the best that I can. It gets a little over whelming very quickly, and it's harder to have a smile on your face. Thus, my 'quest' the past little while was and still is to become happier and this quote helped so much. It made me realize that I hadn't been grateful for a lot of things that I have been given and that I have been focusing too much on the negative. It made me think that it's when we dwell on the negative that we ourselves become depressed and empty. It's when we try to see the good in each day that we become happier and full of the spirit and love. "The bad days may out number the good, but the good out weigh the bad." If only we would find those tender mercies we are blessed with everyday then we would see how much there really is to be grateful for.

"No matter our circumstances,

no matter our challenges or trials,

the is something in each day to embrace and cherish. 

There is something in each day that

can bring gratitude and joy 

if only we will see and apprciate it."

~Dieter R. Uchtdorf

The second quote I was blessed with came a bit before I hit my rock bottom. Every Monday I get emails from many of my friends on missions. One of them, who's serving in Texas, sends me his family emails every week. I absolutely love them! He always has some sort of spiritual thought in them that is completely filled with the spirit. This particular week some of his words hit with more force than normal. He said, "Learning about who God wants you to be is a very long road, but it's such a fulfilling road that I don't regret anything." It made me realize that God gives us trials He knows we can handle. They are given to us to help us grow into the person that God wants us to be. It's long and tough but there is always an end. It's like hiking. The whole way up you are sore, tired, hot, sweaty, and even thinking why are you doing this, but then you get to the top and view, well, it's breath taking. It's worth everything on the way up. When you go through anything hard in the end you can look back and see how much you've grown and how stronger you are when you've over come it. The lessons you learn on the way are priceless and fulfilling and you don't regret anything at all. Through this past month I have found that my limits have been pushed in a way they never have. I have found that there are a lot of hours in a day, and you can do a lot if you work hard. I have found that your familly never gives up on you. I have found that there are people out there that go through harder things than me. I have found that your attitude is only up to you; you make your chocies, but you can't choose your consiquences, and you choose how you react to a trial. I have found that God never ever gives up on you and that He is always there. We need to trust in God, because He knows who we need to become, he knows what we need to do, He knows everything, and He can help you get where you need to get. He can strengthen you, but you have to let Him do so. I love being apart of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. And I am so happy for the knowledge that families are forever and that if we turn to the Lord we can become happy and that if we give everything to Him and let Him take us and mold us in the way that he sees fit that everything will be OK. Just got to Trust Him!