I am not a morning person . . . like at all

It's been awhile since I wrote. Sorry, life has been completely and utterly crazy. I figured since I'm already up and my brain is going a million miles an hour that I would write a post I've been thinking about.

For this post I want to tell you a story (really uncommon for me, right?). So, about two weeks ago I had a pretty bad day. I'm not meaning that a few things went wrong and it kind of stunk. I mean the day was terrible. I was not in a good mood to begin with, it was mid-terms, I was behind on homework (and I had plenty more to work on), I couldn't concentrate on homework, I could hardly think at all, and it was just in all a really bad day-Satan was getting to me. I had a few people try to make me smile and help me feel better but it just didn't seem to help. I couldn't get out of my depressed kind of mood. I tired doing homework and didn't get very far. I started on my religion homework. Reading the scriptures would help, right? As soon as I started reading Mikaela burst through my door, looked at me and said, "What's wrong?" Honestly my emotions got the best of me and the flood gates opened. After she sat and listened to me awhile, she looked at me and said, "You need to get out of this apartment; you've been here too long today." And as the wonderful friend she is, she pulled me out of my room and out to her freezing cold car for a nice drive outside of Rexburg. It took a bit of time but slowly between the music, the drive, and Mikaela talking about her bucket list I started to feel better. I even felt good enough to hop out of the car for two seconds to spin around in the rain.
We made it back to my apartment. One thing was resolved, and I was in a better mood. But . . . I still had a stack of homework with my name written on it. Mikaela made me promise that I would go to bed and that I would meet her at 7:00 the next morning at the library to finish homework. There was one problem here, I am not a morning person . . . like at all. Sure I love being up in the early morning because of how peaceful it is, but getting out of bed and waking up . . . it's a struggle. Granted it is easier to pull my self out of my warm, comfy bed on a freezing cold Rexburg morning if I have an obligation, and that's what happened. The next morning my alarm went off all too early, and I slowly made myself get out of bed. (I'm pretty sure I had some divine help in doing this, considering I could have just rolled over and went back to sleep.) I got ready and walked to the library. There Mikaela and I sat doing homework until each of our classes started. And I will tell you this, I got more done in three hours that morning than I had gotten done in about seven hours the night before. I was astonished in a way, it was weird. I could concentrate, and I got things done without any problems! It was wonderful to say the least.
I then made a promise to myself, I would get up every morning and work from seven to whenever I had class. I would work solely on homework, nothing else. Let me tell you, that's pretty much how I get my homework done now. Granted I still try to do homework when I come home from classes, but it's a bit more of a struggle.
Anyways, that week that started off so bad did get a little bit better, or at least I had a better attitude. Then Sunday rolled around and it wasn't the greatest Sunday ever. It was kind of like Monday. Nothing popped out to me and nothing sounded very appealing or interesting. Then after church I was with a few other girls waiting for ward council to start. The two of them were mostly talking, and I was mostly listening. One of them told a story that really inspired me to say the least. She was talking about a really tough semester for her. During this particular semester she was working two jobs and taking 18 credits among everything else. I kid you not, my mouth feel open. She was crazy! She explained to us that nothing went well at all, she was failing all her classes (which isn't like her), she was stressed out, and wasn't getting much sleep. Then one day in her Book of Mormon class they were talking about studying the scriptures in the morning, she felt very strongly that this is what she needed to do. Yup, she would have to get up even earlier to do it but she did it. She then told us that this certain semester she was able to pull off her two jobs and get a 4.0. My mouth dropped even further. I was taken aback with amazement and a lot of emotions. Then my mind started thinking. I came to conclude that if this Sister of mine in the gospel was able to do all that simply by making time for our Heavenly Father in the morning before everything else that I could too. I decided that I didn't need a 4.0 but I needed peace of mind. I needed to some how make it through this semester in one whole piece emotionally, spiritually, and mentally.
So, that next morning I woke up and read my scriptures earlier-well read my assignment for my religion class. Then on Tuesday a thought was brought to my mind. A speaker at devotional, I believe, once instructed us that we needed to have our own personal study aside from our study for whatever religion class we were taking. "Well," I thought, "looks like that's what I'm doing." I was going to read something other than the New Testament.
Then the test of my dedication to this new decision came. Wednesday rolled around and I laid in bed trying to get up. "I need to get up." I thought. "I need do my prep for math, my homework for math, and my reading and questions for science. I don't have a lot of time I need to get up." Slowly the thought came to my mind that I could read my scriptures later. No later had I thought this that another thought came telling me, "No, you need to get up and you need to read your scriptures first." So I did and you know what? I finished everything else that I needed to before it was due. I again was astonished, this time it was in what I just did. I knew it wasn't me. I couldn't have possible have done that all on my own. Because I gave up time to read my scriptures instead of doing homework in the morning I was given divine help to finish that homework.
As I have thought about the past two weeks I have come to realize another thing. I realized that the Lord does not answer our questions in the way we expect Him to. About a week before all of this I decided to take Elder Lawerance's challenge to ask the Lord "What lack I yet?". I expected an immediate answer like the ones he had shared but it never came. I was discouraged. I knew I had things to work on but the list was too lengthy to narrow down without some help. Little did I know that in the next two weeks Heavenly Father, through those around me, would tell me what I really needed to change. So, slowly I am developing the habit of scripture reading in the early morning. I will not lie, it's hard. Getting up when sleep sounds so much better is difficult. But knowing the blessings that come from it helps. I have seen my love of the scriptures grow just a little bit more but it's something. And it's the something that I very much needed. I'm not perfect at reading my scriptures in the morning. It's a struggle, but I'm working on it. That's what the Atonement is for. It helps us to change for the better.

Changing the things the Lord wants you to change is more important than changing what others around you think you need to change. It's very personal and it essential to our growth. So, what is something the Heavenly Father wants you change? And as Elder Lawerance said, listen and wait for an answer. Once you have that answer don't give up, be persistent in that which you need to change. It pays off, I promise. And you are not alone, you will have help from the other side of the veil because you are doing what the Lord wants you to do. You will also have help from those around you like visiting teachers, home teachers, friends, family, roommates, and the list goes on and on.

One Summer and Five Jobs for Two Semesters

I can't believe it's that time again! I'm headed up to school tomorrow. This summer has been crazy, busy, up and down and up and down, stressful, fun, and enjoyable; however, it's time to go back to classes, to the homework, to the college social scene, to the cold, to all the adventures, to tutoring, to teaching, and to everything good and bad about Rexburg. Needless, to say I am ready and beyond excited to go back. I have fallen in love with a college that I didn't really want to go to. BYU-I has been the perfect fit for me like the slipper was a perfect fit for Cinderella. I remember the first time I stepped foot on campus by myself, I was flooded with the Spirit telling me that this is where I needed to be. I had made the right choice and I wasn't going to regret it. And I haven't.

As I said this summer has been crazy and in one word to sum it all up it's been interesting. I have grown, and I have watched so many of my friends grow. I've had two of my closest friends come home from missions. I've experienced lost. I've experienced heart-ache. I've experienced frustration and happiness, stress and relaxation. I've had mundane days and adventures days. I've learned a lot from this summer as I have in previous summers. I've learned yet again that our happiness depends on ourselves. Not on what goes on around us. "Happiness does not depends on what happens outside of you but on what happens inside of you." (President Harold B. Lee) I cannot tell you how many lectures I have gotten from my mom that have the same meaning as this quote. It's one of my biggest struggles-happiness. Which ironically was one of my greatest strengths growing up.

But what I want to focus on is a quote I saw a while ago. I fell in love with it the moment I saw it. "Working hard for something we don't care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion." People have always thought me crazy this summer when I told them how many jobs I did. It started out as me doing two-a full time job for AMTS at IMFlash and then a part time job at Kohl's. I about got killed off working those two because I'd get up at 6:30 and go to AMTS and work until 3:30 then I'd have Kohl's some days at 5 or 6 and I'd get home in between 10:30 or midnight (depended on the day). I was working about 50 or more hours a week. Finally I had had enough and I quit Kohl's, but I replaced it with three other jobs...Tutoring, cleaning on Saturday Mornings, and shipping packages out. Best decision ever. Even though I had more jobs but these jobs were much more enjoyable and flexible with me. I've enjoyed doing it all. It has kept me busy and on my toes. But it has also given me the chance to spend time with family and a few friends, and go to institute a lot more than before. :)

A few people, like I said, thought me crazy. I got asked why I worked so much, and I got told that I needed to relax and not stress. But the thing is that I wasn't as stressed about work as others thought. I enjoyed most of it. Sure I would have loved a few more relaxing days, but I worked as hard as I did so that I could go to school. I absolutely love school. I have been blessed my whole life with a natural ability at school and a love for it. As I have grown-up I have found that I have a passion for teaching. So, I worked my butt off so I could go to school, so my parents or anyone else didn't have to pay a dime for that school. I worked hard so I can learn, so I can live in a town that I call home, and so I can teach little kids. I worked hard so I can have my passion. It's as simple as that. If anyone asked me if I regret working as much as I did this summer, I'd tell them "No, I'd do it all over again". The things that I learned and that I experienced were worth it and are priceless to me.

I remember reading a talk when I was first up at school. I can't remember exactly who it was by but if I remember correctly part of it quoted Brigham Young. It explained that we have push our boundaries if we are going to grow. And that's what I did. I pushed boundaries that I had; I made them bigger to help me grow and learn new things.

So, push those boundaries. Find what you are passionate about and pursue it. Work hard. But don't lose sight of the most important things: the Gospel of Jesus Christ, Family, Friends. Don't forget those because they will last for an eternity and they are what make every day, even the bad days, a good day. That's one of the many things I've learned this summer.

Marissa

P.S. my blog URL will be changing very soon. Look for the update on my Instagram or Facebook.

Today's A Good Day

You may be wondering about the new title to my blog. I told you I would be making changes to my blog and here are the beginning changes. :)

I want to talk a bit about my title. As I mentioned in my last post, I have been wanting to do this with my blog for so long. Why has it taken me so long to finally revamp my blog? The answer, I could never think of a title I liked or felt appropriate for what I wanted to do, that was the case-until now. About less than a week ago I was saying my nightly prayers when a thought came to me, "Today's a good day." Then immediately after another thought came, "That's the title of your blog". After I ended my prayer I just couldn't believe it! After all this time I simply had to ponder about it and let the Lord do the rest for me. He knew my heart and how much I wanted to do this blog, so He helped me to remove the thing that was in my way of doing what I needed and what I wanted to do. I know that I didn't think of this title, it was a prompting. I'm sure of it. So, yeah it may sound a little cheesy, but I'm still gonna use it.

Now, if you're anything like me you're probably sitting there thinking, "Today's a good day? Are you joking me? Not everyday is going to be a good day! Why even use that title?" Let me tell you right now those are almost my exact thoughts after I pondered about the title for a bit. I have my bad days, they actually happen a lot lately. But then I thought, "Well there is good in everyday, the Lord has given us tender mercies (see 1 Nephi 1:20)". Then I realized that if there is good in everyday and things to be grateful for then everyday, if you look at it, is a good day. In fact I was reminded about that today.

I didn't have the greatest day. It started off super well but then it just went down hill. I got off of work early and headed home. I was thinking about life and what happened. Then as I was talking to my mom, she told me something like this, "You've got to be happy. Satan loves it when we aren't happy." Well, that was a little slap in the face. That was part of my turning point in my day today. I was going to be happy. I have a wonderful job (several actually), I have a pretty awesome family, I have some good friends, but most importantly I have the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I have the Book of Mormon, words of the Prophet, of the Apostles, of men and women of God at my finger tips. I have music that uplifts and changes me. I have the Holy Ghost to guide and protect me. I have family members on the other side that I know are routing for me, helping me and protecting me. So, yes, today is a good day despite the bad parts of it. It's a good day because I have the Gospel in my life and because I have so very much to be grateful for.

I hope that today was a good day for you. If not, think of all that you are blessed with and smile. The Lord has blessed you with many things you just have to remember and try to stay as positive as you can. And like what my mom said "You've got to be happy. Satan loves it when we aren't happy." So don't let Satan win, let the Lord and happiness win.

Marissa

Change!

It's official! As of tonight my blog is under construction! Yup, I'm making changes to it...a lot of changes. I've been wanting to do this for an extremely long time, but I just didn't know how to. Finally it came to me tonight! And I am so excited for the changes that are going to be coming very soon. I hope those that will see my blog will like these changes and that I will be able to accomplish what I want to. 

First off to introduce some of the changes...I'm going to change the title and then eventually I am going to change the URL so watch out. My blog is also going to get a little more personal, which is a HUGE step for me. I'm a pretty private person-ask my family, they even have to drag answers out of me a lot of times. Well, I'm still going to stay quite private, but I think I'll open up just a little bit. One of the very last changes that I'm making is not only with my blog with myself. OPTIMISM! Yup, this blog is going to become very optimistic, as well as myself. As Sister Hinckley put it in her book Small and Simple Things, "I have two choices. I can choose to be happy or I can choose to be sad. I choose to be happy. 'For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves' (D&C 58:28)" I'm going to make that same exact choice! I choose to be happy because today is a good day. 

Thus, please be patient with me. Be patient with me as my writing gets better and as my thoughts are shared. Be patient as this blog helps me become who my Heavenly Father has designed me to become, because as a good friend of mine put it, "Learning about who God wants you to be is a very long road, but it's such a fulfilling road that I don't regret anything". So, yes, my road to becoming who I need to become is very rough, patchy, with quite of few ditches in it already (many to come too) but that's the wonderful thing about God-He's so patient and every time we fall He is there to help pick us up. 

Anyways, more to come-I PROMISE! But I need to get to bed. Need to get up early tomorrow! 

Marissa

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." ~Albert Einstein 

PS Guys I am so very excited about this!!! I can't even convey what I'm feeling right now! Today's a good day. Keep smiling! :)

I'm the girl who . . .

Many people thought I would be married by now

I'm not married

Others thought I was going to serve a mission

I'm not on a mission

I'm the girl who stayed home 

Who went to school

Who went into education to help many of God's children to learn and to grow

I'm the girl who can work extremely hard

But I can be the laziest person ever

Just ask my mom

I'm the girl who is working on being more diligent

Who tries to rid herself of procrastination tendencies

Who tries to gain the most out of her education

I'm the girl who always tries to be her best self

Sometimes I fail

But that's okay; I keep going, and I try again

I'm the girl who doesn't give up

I struggle with a lot of things 

But I'm the girl who doesn't let those things get the best of her

I'm the girl who loves to smile and to laugh

Even though some days it's hard to do either of those things

I still try to find the good in each day

I'm the girl who loves to be around happy people

I love spending time with hardworking, uplifting people

They are the best kind of people to be around

I'm the girl that worries about everything

Then I try to convince myself not to worry

I hate worrying

I'm the girl who loves to see the good in people

Even though it's hard

But everyone has good in them

I'm the girl who knows she has a lot to work on

It's going to be hard

But I know I can do when I have the Lord on my side

I'm a little strange and a little odd but

I'm the girl who knows who she is and WHOSE she is.

I'm a student, a teacher, a daughter, a grand-daughter, a sister, an aunt, a future wife, a future mother, but most importantly I AM A DAUGHTER OF GOD. 

Teaching

Teaching...that is the career that I have chosen for myself. From a very young age I knew that this is what I wanted to do. I may have wanted to do other things as I got older but in the end the younger version of myself knew what I was suppose to do with my life.
I have learned a lot this semester but I believe that today I learned one of the most valuable lessons and one of the most important things that I could learn. It was my last day of working with my cute and wonderful third graders today. I took a moment to look at them and enjoy the sight of them in the classroom. I reflected on the weeks that I have spent with them. Even though I have only spent about 24 days with them, with each day only a couple hours. I have developed a love for these hyper and enthusiastic eight and nine year olds I didn't think I could have. I thought about when I was first teaching, those first few weeks were really hard. I didn't think I knew what was I was doing, and I seriously questioned why I was teaching. I was starting to wonder if I had picked the right major for me. But as my wise mom always and continues to tell me "You can do this. Don't give up. You are doing the right thing. Just keep working hard." So that's what I did and because I followed her counsel I was able to develop a love for these children.
As my mentor teacher handed me and other girl I teach with posters signed by all of the kids telling us Thank You and how much they would miss us and as a few of the students came and gave us notes and drawings I knew that all the stress, the tears, and the frustration was worth it. I felt so loved by these students that I only spent a fraction of time with. I also found that teachers probably have one of the largest hearts. They teach and influence so many lives, and they love each of their students individually. It honestly blows my mind how much a teacher does.
In the end this was my conclusion. Teaching is the hardest and most exhausting thing I have ever done in my life but it is the most fulfilling thing!
Teachers may not be paid much in the money aspect but we certainly are paid more in greater ways than money.
I am going to really miss my cute little third graders and my mentor teacher, but each individual has certainly blessed my life in many ways that I don't think they will ever know. It is because of this experience and because of them that I know I can teach and that I can keep doing what I'm doing. They are the reason I teach.

Spring into the End of the Semester

I can't believe it is already pretty much half-way through March! Which means finals are in less than a month. (Yikes!) And it means that Mikaela comes home in less than a month. (Whoohoo!)

This semester feels like it has gone by super fast, and I feel like I haven't done much of anything, even though that ain't the truth. I have learned so much about many different things. This semester has been such a growing experience for me, and I have loved it all. 

First off I have been blessed with the chance to go into an elementary school and teach a class full of 3rd graders twice a week. I have really enjoyed it, and I have loved getting to know the kids and interact with them. Teaching is definitely something that I love! It's a ton of hard work and it's exhausting but it has so many rewards that the work is worth it all. 

Second of all I have had the chance to tutor two young ladies through Sherpa Academy. This has been a blast. The girls are adorable and hard workers. Not only have I been able to tutor through The Sherpa Academy but I have been able to become a Mentor for it and help the program grow and develop. I have been able to gives hours upon hours to this program; I have gotten to know so many different people; I have been able to laugh and have a blast working in the program. I feel so blessed to be apart of it.

Next, I have learned how to work extremely hard. In between teaching, Sherpa, all of my classes, and homework I have spent about 17 hours a week on campus if not more most weeks. I have begun to realize that the Hinckley Building is my second home up in Rexburg. But I have learned that I work the best when I am on campus. 

But among all of my craziness with school and such I have still been able to have fun. I finally got to ride on a motorcycle. (No picture though.) Also a few other things...

We do Just Dance quite often in our apartment and one time it end up with all of us laughing our heads off at stupid things and me on Becca's shoulders. 

Becca and i got to go to Vocal Point! So much FUN!!

We also fit about seven people into Jess's car to go get free Pizza Pie Cafè.

We then crammed everyone into this small space. :) 

Also, this is something that happens almost daily at my apartment.

Again Milk and Orange Juice-but in Martini Glasses from the dollar store. 

So, yeah I've still been able to do some fun things, which mostly consist of me and my roommates. But, hey, in the end we laugh our heads off like none other, and I have plenty of nights filled with memories of laughing, smiling, and talking. :) Gotta say I've been blessed some pretty amazing girls as roommates. :) 

"Patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is in the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most." ~New Testament Student Manual.

Diligence

Diligence is defined as "careful and persistent work or effort" and it is also something that I seriously lack in life. I have known for quiet a few weeks that it was about time that I change my lazy ways. And obviously the Lord really wanted me to change that as well because many things have pushed me to make the decision of becoming more diligent. First of all the biggest impact on my decision to become more diligent were my grades last semester. They were not bad but they were not good, and I want to do a lot better this semester. On top of that because I was not able to pay for my tuition this semester my kind and loving Grandparents helped me out, and I don't want to waste their money. Last but not least in my New Testiment class and my Practicum Class I have been asked to change one spiritual thing in my life. I decided, of course, that I would be more diligent in the gospel of Jesus Christ and in school. Through each of these events it was clear to me that diligence was what I really need to work on in life. 

It has been a blessing for me this semester to work on diligence even though I'm only two weeks in. This is because my 15 credits that I am taking have begun to feel like I'm taking more than that. I have already spent one day fully dedicated to homework that didn't end until 3 am, and I still hadn't accomplished all of it. The only way I was able to finish as much as I did that day was because I was diligent in doing my homework. I do know, however, that if I had been a little more diligent the other days throughout the week that I wouldn't have had as much homework that specific day. 

But that these thoughts are not the only reasons why I am writing this post. I am writing this post to not only share a goal of mine but to share my experiences as I strive to do my best to accomplish it, and I have already had an interesting experience. 

As I was thinking about being diligent I realized something, I hadn't watched as much T.V. these past weeks. I also hadn't gotten Facebook or Instagram as much and I was beginning to be extremely slow at answering a lot of text messages. That's when I realized that because I had been doing important things that the not so important things in my life were beginning to not be as prominent. That's when I found that it's true what they say that as you put the Lord first and as you work hard that all the unnecessary things in life begin to fall away and the most important things in life being to come forth. 

I have found that because I have kept busy that I don't really miss watching as much T.V., or getting on Facebook and Instagram, or socializing as much. I have found that I really hate not accomplishing all my homework before I go to bed and that I start to get nervous if I don't do homework. Because of all of these things I have begun to work harder and been willing to work harder. And through all this hard work my grades are good (they still need a little bit more work). And I have begun to learn a lot more things than before when I was so lazy. 

It's interesting to see how life goes for each and every one of us. Also, it's interesting to see when the Lord wants us to improve upon certain things. The Lord really does know what he's doing with each of us. And I know that the Lord has chosen this specific time for me to work on diligence for reasons that I don't quite know yet. 

"Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:"

2 Peter 1:10