The Storm

College was great, grades good, roommates were fantastic, there were a few boys, laughing constantly, and a huge smile. Life was wonderful; the sun seemed to shine brighter than normal, nothing seemed to dampen my mood. I was extremely happy to be where I was; everything seemed almost too good to be true.
"It's the calm before the storm. I know something hard is around the corner." That's what I told my friend on the phone a little while ago. Little did I know that the storm that waited for me was a lot harder than I anticipated.
At first I was just frustrated, confused, and stressed. I was faced with a decision I thought I had already made and school was becoming a bit more stressful. I fought with myself everyday. Thinking about the things I was faced with, trying to make peace within myself and trying to figure out what exactly I should do. I couldn't work it out. I talked to one of my roommates about it, seeing if she had advice or any ideas to help me. she came up with the idea of having a priesthood blessing. She needed one too. So we both had one. It may have helped a little. then I turned to one of my best friends in South Carolina, Chandler. Chan pretty much made me the same promise that I got in the blessing - that I would have clarity. i sighed with frustration as tears came to my eyes. I was SO frustrated!!! I was having everything besides clarity.
As per usual things get worse before they get better. You have to fall before you are able to stand up stronger than before. And sometimes we may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I still may not see the full light, but I am starting to see a little flame. this is thanks to many people that the Lord has blessed me with. I've called my parents a few times crying and/or frustrated and they have put up with it. My sisters have given encouraging words and have helped me. My roommates are the sweetest. The other day I found a card on my bed. All of them had written a little note in it for me. I sat on my bed and cried; I was immensely touched by what they said. Then there's my dear friend at home who has also helped a lot and put up with my dramatics. Plus, I have the sweetest missionary ever, who, although he may not know exactly what I'm going through, still sends me encouraging words in his weekly email. So thank you Mom and dad. Thank you Sara and Rachel. Thank you Cedar, Kamila, Sariah, Katie, and Lindsay. Thank you Cambri. And thank you Elder Chandler Thomas Roetker, your weekly emails are such a blessing.